Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Advice to the young men in my life: Turn off the electronics!




            First of all, I realize there is some irony in my giving this advice on a blog.  And this is definitely one of those instances where “do as I say and not as I do” comes into play (but I am trying to take my own advice).  Second, I realize that this is tough advice during the Christmas season, when you are bound to get any number of electronic things to “play” with.  Lastly, I realize that I have a tendency (as do many people my age) to get a little preachy about this, so I apologize before-hand.
            Nevertheless, let’s get into it.  It is amazing to me to see how connected we all are to our phones these days.  People sitting side-by-side, totally engrossed in a small screen, with ear buds in their ears.  They are oblivious to the world around them, and to each other.  We’ve all seen the videos of people looking at their cell phones, and walking into lamp-posts, etc.  We’ve also heard stories of people who are so “trusting” of their car navigation system that they end up in lakes or on railroad tracks.  These stories are funny, yet incredibly sad at the same time.  Throw in the amount of snarkiness and search for self-esteem that people exhibit on Facebook and other social media.  Add the time spent playing video games or watching TV/Streaming media.  The result is increasing isolation that is masked by electronic connections.
            The American Academy of Pediatrics has some recommendations regarding screen time.  They discuss time limits, media-free times and media-free zones all of which seem like reasonable and healthy recommendations.  Let’s look at play time and physical activity.  When I was a kid (you knew that phrase was coming!) I remember playing “kick the can”, “capture the flag”, “red light / green light”, and “red rover”.  These games developed thinking skills, social skills, motor skills, and were just plain fun!  I also remember riding my bike:  building jumps, trying to pop a wheelie, and racing friends.  Once again while building friendships and having fun I was improving gross and fine motor skills, learning physics (how to build a jump), and learning how to cope with failures (and road rash).  So, what’s the difference between these and the media games kids love?  While fine motor control and response time may be improved with video games, there are definite differences with number of calories burned/general health and social connectedness.  There is also a difference in learning about risk.  If I “risk” in a video game, the worst that will happen is I “lose a life” and have to start over.  And if its multi-player, my friends get mad – but there is no real loss.  If I mis-judge my bike jump, the consequences of that risk are a little deeper than the video game.  Yet in some ways, the younger generations have become more risk-averse.  (Granted, this is due to a lot more than video games!)
We played “soldier” and “cowboys and Indians” with toy guns and dirt clod hand grenades.  There was no blood and gore associated with it (unless there was a rock in the dirt clod).  There was always honor associated with it (fighting the bad guys, rescuing the oppressed, etc.).  It wasn’t about the killing, it was about being the soldier or cowboy, or hero.  Contrast that with the current video games, most of which seem to revolve around shooting as many people as you can and/or stealing as many cars as you can.  As far as I know (no, I have not played call of duty or grand theft auto or any of the other games, so I could be wrong) it is all about killing and making money.  Our games fired our imagination.  It required that we take mundane objects and – with our mind – turn them into spectacular props for our play.  It required compromise: “Let’s do a frontal assault” – “no, let’s try to take them from behind”.  It also didn’t take up the amount of time video games can suck out of our lives.  I do remember as a late 20’s newly married man getting WAAYY to engrossed in a computer game.  My wife rightly called me to accountability and reminded me that my new marriage was MUCH more important to spend time on than some space-conquering game.  It seems many of us (young and old) need a reminder of that these days.  All too often we find ourselves in the same room with family or friends, each one of us absorbed in our own digital world.
Electronics and the internet can certainly be a blessing.  We have access to unlimited information.  Problem is, that leads to us believing something without verifying it.  It also leads to us not having to think for ourselves.  Its too easy too look up something rather than to mull it over (or better yet talk it over) and come to a decision on our own.  By all means, then check that decision!  But at least MAKE one instead of letting someone else make it for you.
So, let me make a few suggestions, in keeping with the AAP.  First, limit the time you spend on electronics.  Turn off the TV.  Maybe even take an extended (i.e. 3-6 months) from TV.  You’d be surprised how fun reading and playing games and just talking can be!  Don’t be so tied to your cell phone.  Set times that you will check e-mail and texts or return calls.  If someone REALLY needs to talk to you, they’ll manage to get the message to you, don’t worry.  Maybe even consider leaving your phone at home!  (Believe it or not, there was a time when phones were “tied” to our homes and didn’t go everywhere with us – and we survived!).  Give up (or at least take a break) from the video games.  Trust me, there are many more productive things you could be doing!  Finally, establish some “no electronic” zones.  Mealtime (whether at home or the restaurant) is a good choice.  Bathrooms are another good choice (a pet peeve of mine is people talking on the phone while in the bathroom – not very considerate of those they are talking too, or others in the restroom!)  And finally, how about writing a letter instead of texting someone (which will be our next topic!).
Now that you’re done reading this blog, turn off your computer and go spend some time with someone face-to-face!  Merry Christmas.

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