Sunday, January 6, 2019

Advice to the young men in my life: (Learn to) Write a Letter!




 Dear young man:

           When I think about letters in my life, three major sets of correspondence come to mind.  First, I remember as a young man, getting letters from my grandmother.  They were always addressed to “Master Johnny King” – which, of course, I thought was VERY cool.  She would tell me about small things in her life. Of course, I would “have” to write back (I saw it as a chore back then).  My letters inevitably started “Dear Grandma:  How are you?  I am fine.”  Trying to find things to say about a young boy’s life that would interest my grandmother seemed difficult.  It was not until many years later that I understood it wasn’t so much the content of the letter that mattered, it was the contact itself.  As I grew older, Grandma continued to write, even when I didn’t.  She would send clippings of Bloom County, knowing it was my favorite comic strip.  I remember her letters were always so much fun to read – they provided a sense of home and connectedness.
            The second correspondence I remember is between me and my girlfriend/fiancée.  I was in San Diego and she was in Reno.  Back then there were these things called “long distance phone calls” and they cost money!  We talked by phone no more than once a week.  But we wrote each other often.  Those letters were easy to write, though I confess often repetitive in nature as I talked about how much I missed her and how much I loved her.  Those letters also provided a sense of connectedness as well as hope and love.  There was also a sense of expectation – of eagerly checking the mailbox each day and the joy of finding a letter there. 
            The final set of letters in my life are the letters I receive from the children I sponsor through Compassion International.  These letters are handwritten (sometimes by teachers, for the children too young to write).  They sometimes sound like the letters I wrote my grandmother, but they are full of love!
            I still have the letter my grandmother wrote to me when I graduated medical school.  I still have the letters I received from Marji (and she still has the ones from me).  And literally have 3 binders full of the letters from our compassion kids. Re-reading all these letters bring back precious memories and deepen relationships.
            E-mails are convenient, certainly.  I remember being on deployment and being able to e-mail daily. And yet I would still write longer “letters” sent by email to family and friends every month.  Yet despite the convenience – or maybe because of it – e-mails have their down-side.  Let’s start with the “art” of writing.  It was bad enough that I would write “Dear Grandma:  How are you?  I am fine?”  But e-mail (and texting) encourage even worse:  “How r u?”  “IDK”  “lol” and so on.  There is something about taking the time to write out a sentence fully – artfully – that makes letters personal.  You invest a part of your life in letters.
            Now, being an old-fashioned guy who still prefers holding a book in his hands to reading something on my iPad, it should come as no surprise that I also find something “tangible” in holding a letter that has a person’s handwriting on it.  How many e-mails a day to we delete?  (How much junk mail do we throw away each day?)  I don’t know about you, but I certainly don’t have any e-mails that are 30+ years old.
            A few final thoughts:  Second to a nice long letter is a hand-written note.  A thank-you note, a get-well card, a note of encouragement.  These hand-written “moments in time” still contain a piece of the person who wrote them.  They speak of consideration given in time and thought.  Lastly, good letter writing skills will prove themselves when it comes to finding a job.  Sending a letter of intent (even if attached electronically), a letter of thanks for an interview, etc can make a tremendous difference.
            The one time I can still anticipate a letter is with Christmas cards.  Even so, it is not quite the same.  They are personal, but not individual.  They do increase connectedness and relationship, but sometimes it seems more like a Christmas ritual than a true correspondence.
            So here is my challenge to you:  write a letter.  In fact, make it a habit to write a letter – shoot for once a month.  And send it by regular mail – I guarantee it will brighten someone’s day (maybe even your own).

With much love,
Pastor JC

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