Lessons from a daughter's homecoming (with Becky's permission)

Lessons from homecomings

This fall, my daughter Becky went off to college.  (Azusa Pacific University – a wonderful school).  The life-changes of being an empty nester was something that I had been trying to prepare for.  But, like most major milestones of life (marriage, children, death of a parent) you can’t really understand what’s in store for you until you live through it personally.  APU in their wisdom recommended that students not visit home for the first month.  During that time Becky began establishing her own life – which is as it should be.  But I was definitely looking forward to her first visit home.  When that weekend came, Becky wanted to spend time with her friends.  Again, this is as it should be.  Nevertheless, it was a very difficult time for me because she WASN’T SPENDING TIME WITH ME!

This got me thinking about several things.  First, it was very hard to let Becky go off to school by herself.  It is one thing to talk about giving things up to God in faith – it is another to have one of those things be your child.  Yet I cannot hold her forever.  One of the greatest gifts I can give her, one of the greatest evidences of my love is to raise her and equip her as best I can for life, then give her the freedom to live it.  What love God must have to allow me the same!  God saved me and adopted me into His house, not as a slave, bound in duty but as His child.  Next, he sanctified me, preparing me for His mission.  Through all this, He gives me freedom to be the blessing He has called me to be.

Next, even though Becky is away at school, I am always there for her.  Even at times when she is not thinking of me, I may be thinking of her.  She is in my prayers daily.  She knows that whenever she needs me, I will be there.  This is even more true for God.  There are so many times in a day that I do not think of Him, but I am always in His mind.  (“See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands” Isaiah 49:16).  How amazing that God should be mindful of me, even when I forget about Him.

Finally, I’m struck by the feelings of jealousy I had about Becky’s time.  When I come to God in prayer and quiet time, then hurry off to work or play, I wonder if He feels like I did with Becky….”Wait, my child – I have longed to spend time with you.  To speak with you.  To be with you.  To hold you.  Do not run off.  Be still, my child.

God bless

Why this, why now?

I suppose one should start off one’s blog with a little background…why this blog, and why now?  

Well, that story begins about 4 years ago when I was getting ready to leave Okinawa and the bishop of the Anglican church wanted to present me with a scroll written in kanji.  His question – what Bible verse did I want on it?  My wife and I discussed it and decided that the message God was trying to teach us in Okinawa was “Be still, and know that I am God”.  A few months later we arrived in San Diego.  I was asked to preach at our old church.  The psalm for that day was psalm 46, which contains the line “Be still, and know that I am God”.  A month or so later I was preaching at what was to become my home parish (Christ the King).  The psalm for that day was psalm 37, which contains the verse “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him”.  Coincidence?  I think not. 

At the time, I thought God was emphasizing the point and I could move on with life.  But over the past 3 years this has continued to be a major recurring – no, major CONSTANT theme.  You’d be surprised how often “Be still” comes up in readings, songs, sermons, plaques, etc!  Over those 3 years I have gradually, reluctantly at times, come to embrace being still.  And I have begun to understand that it is so much more than just “not moving”.  It is not worrying.  It is releasing everything – my fears, my dreams, my sins, my works, my treasures, and most of all myself – to God.  It is trusting in Him. 

This has lately been driven home to me as I went through the discernment process for my calling to the priesthood.  It began with a simple question – what is the difference between secular humility and Christian humility?  Meditation and prayer on that question led to conviction, repentance, and a beginning of a deeper understanding of what it means to deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Jesus (Luke 9:23-24).  “Humility” by Andrew Murray, and “When God Takes Too Long” by Joseph Bentz have also been sources of “stillness” for me lately.

I am beginning to accept that the journey is not something to be rushed, or tolerated until I reach the destination.  The journey is life.  The journey continues as God works in me and through me.  It is a thing to be savored, cherished, and enjoyed.  It is also a thing to be shared.  So I hope that you will join me as I learn the Art of Being Still….

God bless